Tis the season to be unkind?

I love Christmas. I am currently surrounded by hundreds of colourful lights (albeit my husband’s obsession but one I am happy to support), Christmas signs and tinsel which all add a warm, festive feel to my living room. Actually, I’m also wearing a Christmas hat, which my daughter placed on my head as soon as I came home tonight. Even the cats have advert calendars. Cute. I’m feeling a bit behind though this year as usually all the presents would be wrapped and under the tree by now. Sadly, this year, my Christmas cheer has been a bit like the ‘cheer-o-meter’ in typical Christmas films, where Santa needs more people to believe in him for his sleigh to fly. It’s been up and down…..Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait for Sunday this week when my Christmas properly starts (bring on the Baileys) but as I start reflecting on the past year and setting my sights on the year ahead, what is it I really want?

Recently I went out to dinner with some friends and we got talking about our goals for next year. There was much talk about buying houses, getting engaged and having babies. (I’m a bit older than most of them). So, my question was, what are the next goals after having those things, and one of my friends answered, “Another house! Another baby!” I’ve been thinking about this all week. The boastful, proud side of my personality has been egging me on when I have times to think (driving to work or in the shower), saying things like ‘well of course you need to try for a second baby before it’s too late’ and ‘well of course a second house is important as long term financial security’. I rarely listen to the quieter, more serene voice that exists in me and whispers, sometimes so gently ‘You have everything you need’. I feel quite tearful as I write this, as, one, I know how true that voice is and two, how much I let the society, peer pressured prideful side of me bulldoze her.

As I look around my average sized but cosy and colourful home and see my loving, supportive, kind and silly husband and daughter (and even my cats), I don’t actually need anything else, because at the end of the day when Christmas day comes, they are the most important things in my life and I will spend it with them. I don’t need Christmas to tell me this. I just need to listen to the true voice inside me. My goal is just to be present and to enjoy my happiness next year.

This voice also tells me that I set up @superkindme as I believe in the importance of kindness so much that I need to blog about it. Kindness to ourselves. Kindness to others. Kindness at home, at work, with strangers. But at times (particularly recently; have you noticed I haven’t blogged as much recently?) it’s felt a bit pointless. I’ve seen unkindness in all shapes and forms lately. The universe is definitely talking loudly to me as in the middle of writing this blog, my husband returned from the post office saying everyone in the queue got more and more angry with the cashiers due to having to wait. Most days both personally and professionally, I’ve witnessed negativity, bitchiness and grumpiness towards others. Of all times of the year, shouldn’t now be the time of good cheer? Why does the run up to Christmas bring out the worst in us? Why is it so hard to be kind?

So although I do have some frivolous goals for next year and even one or two more life changing goals, I intend to keep spreading the message out there – kindness really doesn’t take much more than a quick choice to be kind. Do you really need to say that unkind thing? Treat everyone how you wish to be treated yourself.